Happy Almost New Years

Hello everyone.

Just lounging and thought I'd do a little update. Christmas was unreal, the kid got so much stuff we still haven't opened 'em all up yet...it's honestly a little ridiculous, but she had a ton of fun and loved opening all the presents, so tyvm to all that had anything to do with that (yoo too Santa).

Poker has been non-existent. I've only played 2 days in the last 2 weeks. I really just haven't been into it and I want to be completely refreshed for January. I haven't started my goals for 2010 yet, I'm planning on doing them on Jan. 1st. Even though it's technically the new year then, I count Jan. 2nd as the first real day of the new year, so the next post will have a goal theme.

I'm honestly not really looking to doing that post just for the simple fact that I don't think I accomplished one of my goals this year. I don't remember exactly what they were (1st problem), and I just really wasn't into playing cards this year. Some of it was due to the game changing, not focusing enough and putting in enough effort which in turn made me not play well, which is a vicious cycle and it all leads to me needing to getting real about poker and what I want out of it.

Well have a safe night everyone. I hope all your dreams come true in 2010.

Merry Christmas

Hello Everyone.

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone. Yesterday was a hectic one (I had to work in the am which really pissed me off), but the kid had fun and loved opening presents so it was a wash.

So funniest story ever, in the middle of being frantic and late and getting all the presents in the car, I left my cell phone on top of our car and we proceeded to drive off...so if you happen to see a Blackberry that's in about 3 pieces pick it up and lemme know...lol super standard, o well though really who needs a phone newayz.

Haven't played poker at all, and it's been a nice break. I really just haven't been into playing atm and I've been listening to myself and not forcing myself to play (which never turns out well when I do) a lot of it also has to do with the fact that I broke my mouse and haven't found a replacement that is acceptable, so I did some digging and found the exact mouse I had (honestly at least 5 years old) and ordered it. It's truly the only mouse that really fits my hand and allows me to play for more than an hour at a time, which is really important since I'll be trying to clear my bonus, then jump over to stars...

Well have a wonderful day with friends and family everyone. Merry Christmas.

Waiting

So I'm waiting for my car to warm up and figured I'd do a post.

It's crazy snowy outside and my defrost doesn't work tell I hit 40 mph...this should make for an interesting drive to work...

Poker has been a damn roller coaster again. I know what is going on and what my problem is, but I still can't seem to shake it. Changing old habits are obviously hard, but with the game changing I have to stay ahead of the curve, which means more study, and less worrying about results.

I'm planning on playing for another week solid then I'm going to take the rest of the year off. I think it will help rejuvenate me not to mention give me a break since I'm going to put in major hours in January. I'm not going to think about poker during that time and I think that will be very beneficial. I read my goals for 2009 and I was depressed to say the least. I didn't hit one of them, but I was a winner for the year so meh I guess, but not hitting my goals is not acceptable to me...I just need to work harder in 2010.

Well I better start heading to work. Man I got a case of the Mondays...Later

Ready for the Weekend

Sup everyone.

This was a hectic week, but it went unbelievably fast, I can't believe it's Friday already, but I'm not arguing...It was a nice change to be by myself at work and be "the boss" I felt I handled it well and feel I will be that much more ready when that steps comes along...

Poker is coo, had a convo w/ SS over aim and he opened my eyes to a few things. I really have been going about my playing style/strategy the wrong way, so if I can clear that up things should be cool. I have definitely been feeling like the game is getting way harder lately. It is December and the games tend to get very good in about a week all the way threw early January, so hopefully that will make things a bit easier...

The game sure is evolving rapidly though, just makes table selecting really really important, it's always been an important part to poker, but lately as the games get tougher and tougher it's that much more important. Other than that it's just sos, I just really need to make sure I'm hyper focusing and things generally always work themselves out...

Enjoy the weekend everyone, I'm going to get some PS3 time in, because it's still basically brand new since I only played for all of an hour last week, when the kid was taking a nap...Later

Over Already???

So this weekend went way too quickly for a 4 day one...

Shopping was fun, I got a bunch done and am at least over 50% done which is a really nice feeling. I went down to Seattle and it was nuts, toys-r-us wasn't that bad, but Best Buy was just down right silly...but I bought myself a little something (haven't done that in a really long time so I decided it was ok to do), then went to the outlet mall and got some stuff. Over all it was a pretty fun day even though I had to wake up at 3am...

Haven't really played poker this weekend much at all. I have some money on Stars now and I've been playing there. Only 10nl as I only have $100 on there and am just trying to get used to the software and everything. I didn't realize how much slower it is than FTP, it's a huge difference. I'm still playing at FTP as my main place atm, but I just wanted to get my feet wet and get everything set up for when I do make the switch in February. The software is definitely something to get used to but it will just take some time....

I've spent the last 2 days trying to get my PS3 hooked up (my present to my self) and I finally just got it hooked up so I'm going to get some time in while my daughter takes a nap.

Have a good week everyone. Later

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

I hope everyone enjoys there day and time with their friends and family. My family is doing the usual...watch football all day and then do dinner with the wife's family. My wife is frantically baking atm, so the kid and I are about to watch some football, which is pretty much the best Thanksgiving tradition ever.

Poker has been a roller coaster. I made a huge w/d and depleted my BR to lower than it's ever really been. I then proceeded to play like shit, lose, tilt and then lose some more, so I'm in bit of a rebuilding stage. I think things are turning around as I played yesterday and it really felt good again, small sample size I know but it was good to feel confident again.

I had a chat with SplitSuit online and he really opened my eyes to a few things I was doing (or better yet not doing), he always sets me straight. I am definitely thankful for him as a coach, and I am thankful that he is a friend also, w/o him I honestly wouldn't have gotten threw a few months of bills (threw coaching, and in turn poker profits, not loaning us $ or anything), which in turn made me not stress more than I do on a regular basis. So thank you SplitSuit, much appreciated as always.

My wife, she does/has put up with more than I can even imagine. She is an amazing woman who without I'd be lost. She tells me to not be a dumb ass when I need to hear it, gives me my pep talks when I need them, and does such an amazing job with raising our daughter, it's unreal. She basically works 2 FT jobs with doing hair and our kid, I know I'm not good at telling her how much I appreciate her, (I'm definitely not good at that, sorry), but boo, I luv u and I'd be lost without you.

My kid, I can't even begin to explain how thankful I am for them. My daughter lifts me up, when ever I see her face after a bad day at work/whatever, just to see her yell DADDY!!! when I walk in the door is enough to make my heart melt. She's taught me so much about not being selfish it's not even funny, I look forward to every moment I spend with her.

Have a fabulous day/weekend everyone, I'll be one of the crazy people out at like 3am tomorrow, so watch out if you get in my way on a sale item...Later

Ready for the weekend

Hey everyone.

Been a pretty hectic week at work, and I'm only about to get busier. I landed a pretty big order and I'm going to have to jump threw a bunch of hoops to make sure it goes off smoothly. At least there is a long weekend so there's a light at the end of the tunnel, plus it's way better to be busy at work than the alternative...

Poker has been pretty dec. I've been playing much better as of late, and with the exception of last night, where I lost every big pot I played, my results have shown it...That's nice also because in this silly game we play that's definitely not always the case...

I'm going to start playing learning a new game, 7 game was fun and all, but it really hasn't clicked with me yet. Not to mention the fact that I'm moving over to stars and I'll just have to learn something new. PLO is probably what I'll be taking up, I'll probably leave a few hundo on FTP and just play my PLO there so I can get a bit of a double wammy with bonuses and points and whatnot...

I just started to read up on the whole Dec. 1st thing, and I'm a little scared to be honest. Hopefully it will be like it usually is and everyone was scared for nothing and we just find ways around it like always...only time will tell on that one...I truly don't understand how anyone can tell me what is acceptable to do and not do with my money...gotta love the "land of the free", that could be premature and I hope it is, but it's so ridiculous to me that I potentially couldn't play on the Internet if I feel like it, and that's not acceptable to me...

Have a good weekend everyone. Later

meh

what's up everyone.

So today I had one of those days that you are depressed and just not happy with the way things are going...I don't know what to do/say about my job, it's fun and all, but I will never make good money at it (maybe, and that's a big maybe) in 10-15 years and I'm sure that will require 60+ hours a week...so needless to say I was just irritated all day.

Then I started thinking about something I haven't done for 10 years, which is kind of funny that it even came into my mind, (I'm sure it was the music I was listening to...) and I had it all planned out...Kinda scary that it would come into my head, but not that big a deal really cuz I'd never do anything to risk my wife and kid, so meh just a day dream I guess...

One thing I'm so sick of is the "rich get richer, while the poor get poorer" way that the world is. It pisses me off so much the way things are. I'm sick of money, the necessity of it for my happiness, and the over all idea of it...I have an amazingly beautiful wife and daughter, and I know I have it so good compared to a TON of people, and that should be how my thinking is on a daily basis, but unfortunately it's not, it's always about paying this, or wanting/affording that. I guess this is just the way that the "provider" lifestyle is???, and I should just try and get used to it...

Poker has been dec, I started playing shorter sessions and it's really helped my focus. I noticed that if I play a session much longer than 1 hour my play deteriorates rapidly the more and more I get passed that 1 hour time frame. That's helping a lot to say the least...

I'm really looking forward to the move to Stars. I really need a change of scenery and like a previous post said, I'm so sick of all the SSers I could punch myself, fuck rake back, I'll take game selection, and more players! Throw in the fact that after six months to a year it will be just a good a deal, and it's really a no brainer. I'm going to be putting my first deposit on in about a week and start to make the transition. I'm in the process of finding all the mods and getting them set up, so it should be fun to get everything set up and in order...

Well I feel better, I vented. Have a good rest of the week everyone. Later

Sick of SSers

What's up everyone.

Had a lesson yesterday w/ SplitSuit yesterday, and it went well. He always reminds me of things that I forget or things that I need to hear. That guy knows so much about poker and can read hands so well it's kinda stupid...he also talked me into something that I've been thinking about for a while now...

I'm so sick of all the SSers on FTP that it's driving me crazy. I'm so sick of getting on a table only to leave 15 minutes later cuz all of a sudden there's 5 SSers....so ridiculous. The deep tables are ok, but lately it just seems to be a reg fest. So I've decided to move over to Stars.

I can live without rake back, plus once I build up some play it will equal out/ be better for me in the long run anyway. So I'm going to play threw January 2010 on FTP then move my BR over to stars and start playing there in February. I think I'm going to move a little bit over there right now so I get things set up and have everything ready to go when February comes around. That will give me enough time to set up mods, and get my HUD set up and everything else figured out. I'm just so sick of dealing with all the damn SSers that I'm done with it, not to mention Stars has twice the amount of people and it's kind of a no brainer...I'm looking forward to a change of scenery.

This weekend actually sucked. I woke up Saturday with a bad soar throat and it hasn't gone away...I feel a little worn down so I've just been lounging and resting all weekend really, so hopefully I wake up tomorrow rested and not feeling ill, cuz working is never fun when you're not feeling 100%...

Well nothing else really going on. Have a great week. Later

November Already???

What's up everyone.

I seriously can't believe it's November already, that just seems redic to me. What in the hell happened to summer? O well I guess, just sucks we won't see the sunshine tell March or April...lol

Poker has been better, I've really started to session review, and it's definitely helped. I've noticed I've been pretty spewy. I also noticed that I've just become complacent and really not "worked" on my game. I just got used to playing making a w/d, then repeating the whole process...so I've been reading and studying and visiting 2p2 more than I have in a really long time, so needless to say I hope to see things turn around soon. I have a check up lesson w/ SS on Saturday so that will help also...

So I've been so addicted lately. My friend came over and figured out my ipod and we got all my old music off it and onto my new computer. In the process he showed me a few things and I've gotten so much music in the last few days it's stupid. I honestly have to much, I'll be driving and can't figure out what I want to listen to cuz I have way too much...not a bad problem to have I guess...

Well have a good Friday everyone.

Happy Halloween

What's up everyone. It's been a few so I'd thought I'd do a little update especially since my last post wasn't of the happiest nature.

Life is meh, I guess, just as everything ups and downs. Nothing too severe, just did a lot of reflecting after my uncle passed and have thought a lot about life and what I want etc...Nothing really new I guess.

Poker wise, yesterday was the first time I played in a week, the time off definitely felt good. When ever I take a break because I'm getting pissed at results and just thinking about the money factor, I realize how bad I've been playing. I didn't think poker at all for a week and just kicked it with the wife and kid (which I'm sure they liked) when it was my "poker time".

The only real thing I did was get back to reading a poker psychology "My Worst Poker Enemy", which helped a lot. I read threw the book about 2/3 of the way and then decided to re-read NLTAP. So I got back to reading the psychology book since I was obviously a basket case...Time off always makes me look at the big picture and makes me realize how bad I was playing, and how results oriented I was being.

I realistically need to take at least 2 days off for every 14 days straight I play. I think that's the thresh hold of my grinding capacity. I looked over my sessions and I could identify exactly where my play took a 180...so I think more consistent breaks will help this problem from occurring regularly...

I also started to session review after I play each session, and that's been very helpful so far. It's what made me realize in the first place I was playing horribly. I looked over sessions on back to back nights and was like "o holy shit, I'm playing horrible and need to take a break and relax" it's amazing what happens when you step back and look, rather than just have the thoughts as you're grinding in your head. I usually take a 15 minute break after I'm done playing, grab some water and then session review, and I think it's going to be a extremely valuable in getting out of my 50nl rut...

So, I'm probably going to get struck by lightning for this...The lady that stole from us got caught! lol, stupid bitch. She stole a credit card and racked up the charges and got caught, man I hope she goes to jail, I'm sure she'll get out by claiming she's crazy (probably not far off), but o well, at least everyone realizes now she's a psycho bitch...

Looking forward to tonight, my mom is having her annual Halloween Bash, so the kid should have fun, this is her first year that she'll actually have somewhat of a clue what Halloween is, so that should make it even funner.

Have a Fun and Safe night everyone.

In a Funk

What's up everyone.

Been a shitty couple of weeks...my uncle passed away (he's in a better place so that helps, but it's never easy to lose anyone...), my Grandpa just had surgery to remove cancer from his face, the wife has a few family members that are sick, just not a very good start to October...

The ceremony for my Uncle is this Saturday, so the whole weekend will be about family and that will be nice. I've noticed as you get older you get busy and generally don't see each other except for holidays or when something bad happens, which is definitely not how it should be. It makes me kind of sad actually, but I guess that's just what happens...

I'm assuming that poker has seen a direct hit because of this...I'm definitely way more irritated with all the running into tops of peoples ranges. Honestly that more than anything is tilting me lately...The suck outs are something you deal with just cuz you know it's going to happen, but when they have a certain range, and you're always running into the top of it in big pots is really getting to me. It's definitely tilts me more than anything. Of course I have a huge amount of pressure on me atm to play well as we desperately need a w/d (lol of course, so much for moving up) and it's tilting me/making me irritable when I don't win.

I think it'll be good to take a few days off. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting mad about losing and that's when I need a break. Usually I let beats and losing roll off me like everything else, but when I start getting actually mad and that "wtf r u kidding me, fuck poker" attitude I know it's time to take some time off..

I guess I'm just pretty irritated in general atm. I had a big life reflection while I was driving home from work today, and it wasn't a good one. I was just thinking about life and work and what "this" all really means, and I honestly didn't have an answer of what's the point...

...but then I came home and saw the wife and kid, and I was temporally relieved. I still don't know though. I'm just getting sick of things, life is too short to not be happy with your job or money or whatever it is. I feel like I need to change something to become happy, problem is I have no idea what it is. It's very possible this is just the temporary downswing talking and adding more fucking $$$ stress, but idk...I seem to have a lot of these types of moments lately.

I know that it's all due to one issue, and it drives me crazy, furious, and sad all at once, and realistically I probably will never be fully happy with my life until it gets resolved...but (here's where it gets really good) it honestly probably never will, and everyone is going to die pissed off and bitter...fucking awesome. Well for now and until that day comes that it gets fixed (which it won't) fuck everything...

Later everyone.

My Amazing Wife

What up everyone...This is probably tl;dr but o well...

So as the title entails this post is about my wife, I was worthless for 2 weeks (back injury left me on the couch unable to move) and my wife had everything on lock. She cooked, cleaned, took care of our kid, and still had time to go to work and get her hair cutting on...Thanks boo, I know I'm not good at it, and don't say it enough, but thank you very much, you are very appreciated and all your hard work kept the house in working order...

She also was the boss of the house and every time I tried to get up and do something for myself, or help her out (cuz I felt way worthless and like a mooch) she basically said WTF are you doing?! you sit down and do nothing (which without a doubt made me relax and get better much quicker than I would've otherwise), I'll handle it, I will say it was nice for a while being waited on but it got old, not being able to do anything for myself.

The back is meh atm...it's still hurts (mainly from sitting down) and I'm still having to take a pain pill at night after a day of work and sitting in the work truck and @ the computer...I was all excited to go and see this "spine specialist" my Dr. referred me to, and I learn all it is, is some pain clinic that helps you cope/deal with the pain...wtf, how is this going to help anything??? how is just masking the pain going to help me get over this disorder or whatever they diagnosed me with? that one kinda irritated me today, guess we'll just have to wait and see...

Poker is at a somewhat turning point for me...I've decided (I'm pretty sure I've done this before but o well) to refocus my efforts. I read a few articles that really made me sit back and reflect on what I am getting out of poker and what I want from poker...

I've gotten into this pattern/rut of just wanting to get my $500 w/d every 2-3 weeks and have that be fine, but after reading these articles I realize I'm not really getting any better, I'm not pushing myself to play against better players/ or take a shot in a bigger game. I'm just searching for the easy tables, or the biggest fish, rather than really trying to accelerate my game and get to 100nl-200nl by December when the games get way better.

So I'm going to try and not make a w/d (I would really say I'm NOT period, but bills are bills and w/ a kid sometimes you just need extra cash...) I'm going to really start and hyper-focus (good looking out SS) on my decisions, and most of all I really need to start assigning ranges to villains and play accordingly (my biggest leak). I figure w/ a month and a half of good solid playing and really focusing and studying my hands after each sessions/ talking with others about them, that I will be more than ready to make the jump to 100nl w/ shots at 200nl in December.

This is my long term goal (not a really long time frame but long enough I guess) that I'm really going to focus on. Every non-family oriented moment I have is going to be dedicated to poker and studying. I'm also going to read for 15-20 minuets each night before I go to bed (this may be lol funny, cause it's so short, but it has taken me 2 years to read 1/2 way threw 3 books...think about that lol).

So I've got my goal in sight and now I'm going to do the work to achieve it!

Have a good weekend everyone, and I better see you at the party on Saturday!

Damn, This Sucks

Hey everyone.

So this has been the sickest few days ever...I'm so fucking sick of poker atm it's not even funny...I've lost 12 BI in the last 2 days, I've had 6 coolers and then a little tilt into the mix and I'm back to feeling like I don't even know how to play this fucking game anymore... FUCK THIS IS PISSING ME OFF!!!

Seriously, I've run in so many top of there range it's ridiculous, I don't think I can take one more suck out or me flopping huge and them having the only hand that beats me...fuck I'm so mad right now. I hate these parts of the "long term" when it just feels like I can't do anything right and I feel like I don't even know how to play...

Of course I made a w/d right before this happened so now my BR is way below normal...so wonderful, but standard for me I guess, I can't really ever just run good for a more than 2 weeks at a time, that's way too much to ask...

To top it all off I'm back to the real world tomorrow, I have my MRI at 8:15 am then I'm off to work. My back is still hurting like crazy but there's not much I can do about it...I wasted all my leftover vacation time since I had to stay home for 5 days from work now, so that's cool. Like I said...Standard

Later

Pain, Branching Out, & Stupid Bitch

What's up everyone.

So my back is completely messed atm...I went to the ER around 1:30 am on Wednesday. They did a UA and it came back nothing. It basically feels just like it did when I had a slipped disc about 2 years ago. It hurts to do anything and I'm just hanging out on the couch doing nothing...which is only cool if you were to have the option of doing something if you wanted to...

I missed work on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and according to my doctor she wants me to be out until next Wednesday. I have a MRI then and should have a somewhat better idea of what is going on and if surgery or anything else is needed...

I can sit for about 1/2 hour at a time so my poker sessions are cut to around 40 minutes before it hurts so bad I can't stand it. I usually time when I just have taken the pain pills they gave me and it makes sitting a little more manageable... but I can't put in a session that's 1 hour + so that's definitely frustrating. I'm just playing 3-4 small sessions to at least get a little volume in...

Poker has been going well though...I think these little sessions have been causing me to focus even more and I've started this month out pretty good. Last month ended on a pretty shitty note so it's always nice to see it going the other way...

I've had a lot more time on my hands to do some reading and thinking about the game so that's nice. I've noticed an area that is a huge leak for me and if I can plug it up I think I will see immediate improvement, which is nice since I've been playing well with my new style and my win rate has been very decent lately.

I've still had to make some w/d from FTP so my BR isn't growing as much as I'd like...not that big of a deal, but I'd really like to start playing 100nl in December when the games get good (usually at least), and in order for me to do that I need to be comfortable with my BR (for me minimum of 30BI...) but I figure if I can just hold off on a few w/d in October and November then all should be well and I'll get there (barring some unseen incidents of course)...

I also am thinking about starting to play 7-game a little more seriously. I usually play it on the weekends when I'm up late and not doing much. I definitely need to start learning other games, and that seems like the perfect fit since your getting just about every other game that's played with some regularity. I'm thinking I'm going to set about $200 aside and have that for a "7-game" BR. I was also toying with the idea of putting $200 on stars and playing mix games over there, but there variation isn't exactly like FTP so I'm guessing I'll just stay there and have a couple hundred extra at all times...I just figure it's time to start thinking more about other games so I can start to play them as well, not to mention the more you learn the better all around poker player I'll become (ldo), which in turn should make my strongest game even stronger.

So it looks as if the whole house keeper stealing our shit was even worse than I anticipated. Turns out she also stole my wife's watch that I bought her (only about $300 but still it was a nice watch), she stole a bottle of perfume (we're finding other things missing all the time, so who knows what else..) and to top things off she stole diapers from my daughter...this is the thing that set me off, if the crazy bitch wants to steal from us whatever, but when she steals from my daughter of something that she needs, that really pisses me off...we ended up filing a police report but nothing will ever come of it since we don't have "evidence". I really hope I never see her because I don't know if I'll be able to control myself if I do... (not hit her or anything of course...just probably make a scene with a lot of name calling and yelling...)

Have a good weekend everyone, and GO BEARS!

So Angry

what's up all.

So I came home yesterday to a clean house (always nice)...A wife's friend (well former friend) cleans our house on Friday. She really wanted to since she doesn't have a job and it worked out for us since the house got clean. So I get home yesterday and things seem weird, I have chronic back pain and I had just gotten home from the chiropractor and I was soar so I went to the medicine cabinet to get a pain pill....

hmmm interesting they're gone and the medicine cabinet looks as if it's been rummaged threw, I think well wtf I know they were here last time I remember. It's been about a week since I last needed one...So I search the house and cabinet and they're just gone...I get on the computer and realize something else is wrong...the history has been totally deleted (obviously she didn't want us to see what she did)...she even did her resume on our damn computer...

I think it's so ridiculous that we were helping her out since she is jobless (hard to see why...) and she needed money...our own fault for actually trusting someone now a days...but seriously to throw away a friendship and a job (not that well paying...) for some pills is really baffling to me, but I guess as they say...some are sicker than others.

poker has been good, red line still going strong, I didn't have a chance to play last night because of the above situation made me so mad I figured I'd be way tilted and just lose all my $, so I took last night off, which also sucks since now I won't hit iron status on the FTP, just Gold status which kinda sucks since I'm trying to get that TV and now that's been pushed a month back...but meh I guess

I've been playing good and things have been clicking, I think I just need to get a little better at VB on the river and my win rate will jump up to where I want it (9+BB/100, I'm currently at 8BB/100).

Have a good weekend everyone, except for you Noelle...

Not So Fast...

Well it looks like I might have jumped the gun a little bit too early on carpal tunnel. I kind of wanted to get a second opinion. My neck and shoulders have been in extreme pain lately. It's been causing me extreme discomfort and ibuprofen isn't helping at all...The surgeon I saw said that a pinched nerve in my neck could very possibly cause the symptoms in my wrist that I'm having...

So i decided to go to the chiropractor (never been to one before). He did some little tests and whatnot and basically told me that my spine is not happy...He did a quick adjustment and then made an appointment for me on Monday to get xrays and look things over. I have to say though after the adjustment I felt a lot better. I'm looking forward to the fact that I might not have to get surgery which is always nice. We'll see what happens...

Poker has been going pretty good. My red line is now actually positive after 14k hands, and that is such a huge change I can't even begin to describe it...My win rate has obviously jumped threw the roof (even with running 5 BI under EV) this month. I feel like I'm playing really well right now...

I've even started to dabble in tournaments...with the FTOPS going on I bought into one and then won two satellites into another...I played pretty well and noticed that my new found aggression really works well in tournaments. I finished 200 and something in a 10k + entrant tournament. Which might not sound great but for a guy who really doesn't like tournaments or know much tournament strategy it was respectable I thought. I was in the top 10 in chips from about place 500 on but really screwed up a hand and lost 65% of my stack and really never recovered...so we'll see I might start to try and satellite my way into some more events. I also like how I can buy in with points so it doesn't affect the BR at all....

I've been doing a lot of thinking about jobs and happiness and I really wish I could play for a living. I know I could handle it mentally, but financially since I'd need at least 3 months of living expenses saved up I truly doubt it will ever happen...which makes me a little sad, but o well...not much I can do about it. That's another reason I've started shot taking in tournaments, just so I could possibly make that big score and pay off some bills and be able to put 3+ months of living expenses away...just a dream atm but nothing like dreaming big I guess...

Have a good weekend everyone. Later

It's Official

Hey all,

So it's official (it already was really) but I have surgery scheduled. October 13th is the day. Then I'll have the rest of that week off. Which really sucks since we're going to be doing nothing but o well...Sounds like I might be able to play poker. I guess they fit me with this little brace where I can still use my fingers and hand, but just can't move it horizontally....so we'll see.

Poker has been good so far this month. i haven't really been putting in a ton of volume. I've only played around 9k hands so far. I've been putting in my daily grind but some how it's only adding up to that amount which seems like not much at all, but we'll see at the end of the month if it all adds up.

I have to say I've been playing extremely well. I looked over my stats from last month and i was down around $220 in non-show down winnings. This month to date I'm down about $15 in non-show down winnings. That's a dramatic difference to say the least. I honestly don't even know what I'm doing differently. I am definitely being more aggressive in situations, but other than that I really think it is just hyper-focusing on villains ranges and playing accordingly, also dropping down to 9-10 tables from 14 has been such a huge eye opener. I rarely have those moments of total insanity where 7 tables are beeping at me and 2 of them are weird/tough situations, so that's definitely helped a ton to say the least.

Nothing else really going on, the wife and kid are doing good. The kid is actually getting so big and doing so many new things on a daily basis it's pretty
ridiculous. She had one of her "silly times" in Costco and it was hilarious (prob not for my wife at the time) check out her blog for the whole story...it's too long for me to type and my hand is starting to hurt...it's definitely my daughter in a nutshell though...just being silly and bringing everyone along for the ride.

Well, have a good weekend everyone. Later

Great Way To Spend a Vacation

So it looks like I'm having surgery....had an appointment with the surgeon today and he told me the only options left was for surgery...o well I guess. It would have been nice to not have to spend a week sitting doing nothing but it looks like that is what's going to happen...

The Dr. said I'm not supposed to really do anything or use my hand for anything. So basically it's going to be the lamest time off ever...o well I guess not much can be done about it.

Poker has been basically sos, nothing really new to report. I think I'm getting a little to obsessed w/ my red line though. It's really the only stat I am checking after my sessions and then go over hands that fall into that category. I guess it's just giving me something else to concentrate on...

Well that's it for now nothing else really going on...hope all is well.

Up late

Hey everyone.

Not really tired and kinda bored so I figured I'd do a little update. Long weekends are always nice to say the least.

Poker has been going pretty dang good so far this month. I really feel like I'm playing better than I ever have, and feel like I'm starting to understand the game and think about it on a different level than I ever have before. My red line is positive for my last 8K+ hands (ya ya not much I know...) and that is such a dramatic turn around from where it was it really only makes sense why I've had the results I've been having lately...

I was really looking forward to moving up in stakes by December (w/ shots @ 1/2nl) but unfortunately I had to make a big w/d since the wife had a bad week at work and we needed some extra funds (very lucky we had the option really...) I was basically set up for .50/1 nl but that plan will have to wait a bit. Hopefully I can maintain the pace I'm at and move up late October but we'll see.

I'm trying to figure out a way to start putting in more volume (I only play around 25K hands a month), but I really don't think I can figure anything out... I really don't want to add more tables since I see such a huger difference in my play when i get past the 10 table threshold, and I don't really think playing more hours is possible since the wife probably wouldn't be happy I would I'm taking even more time away from her, that I'm basically out of options...The weekends are nice and I can put in more time when the kid has a nap, I like being able to play 2 sessions a day (about 1 1/2 hours each), so I guess atm I'll just have to be content...

Hand wise nothing is better...still bothering me on a regular basis. I have an appointment w/ a surgeon on Tuesday to see what the next course of action is. I was a little apprehensive about surgery but now I really don't care, I just want it to be done and not hurt/ache/be annoying anymore...

Other than that nothing much going on. Hope all is well everyone and enjoy the rest of you long weekend. Later

Damn you Carpal Tunnel

Hey all,

So it's what I feared...looks like it's surgery for my carpal tunnel...I have to make an appointment with a surgeon on Monday and we'll go from there, but my Dr. said that since it hasn't gotten better in the last 4 weeks of doing exercises and wearing the brace then it doesn't look good. I guess I'm alright with it I just want this to be fixed and not have to deal with it anymore...(as I'm typing this it really isn't a pleasant feeling, playing poker doesn't make it feel very good either)

So meh I guess, only shitty thing about it is, my Dr. told me that I won't be able to use my hand for at least a week, it's in a cast type brace and you can't move it for a certain amount of time after the surgery which sucks, since in theory I won't be able to be real productive at work since I have to write down orders, type, then use a mouse for sourcing...wonderful, not the potential vacation I was looking forward to...

Poker has been going pretty good. For the first time I can remember for the last 15K hands my red line has been break even/ a little positive. It probably doesn't sound like a big deal to most of you but I've always had a extremely negative red line and now that it's breaking even/a little positive I'm very happy. I had a sweat session the other week w/ someone who really made me look at it and think I'm not playing the best I could and getting the most out of my game. (letting the $$$ affect my decisions like I get in a habit of doing). So that's definitely making me feel good about my game, no more just throwing $ away in non-showdown pots, which is very +++EV...

Well have a good weekend, my hand is killing me so I can't really type anymore. Later

Weird Weekend

Hey Everyone,

So poker wise this was an extremely weird weekend. I played very well for about 1/2 the sessions I played this weekend and then did really stupid stuff the other 1/2. It's been really weird lately cuz I've really been playing good the last week or so and have actually started to detach myself from the whole money aspect that I've always been so hung up on...(the wife has a job now so poker $$$ isn't really a major part of needed income anymore...)

I've been doing things that I've always know were right but just couldn't get myself to do them because it could sometimes be (to me) spewy, even though it was a +EV move I most of the time just couldn't get myself to pull the trigger, err press the button...

So idk if it's a focus thing or what, whenever it is my time to play I'm always into it and ready (if I'm not then I don't play) so it's just a little strange...A few of the stupid spots I got into were just villain had top of his range, but still it was a roller coaster this weekend, over all I'm up for the weekend but it was definitely not what it should have been.

I was messing around last night late and played some 7-game and I have to say I'm really a fan of it...I played HU (which I've never done before) and it was definitely a fun time and good mix of games. I'm thinking I'm going to start and branch out a little bit and become a "more rounded" player and start to dabble in other games. I've played a decent amount of PLO, but other than that, nothing else of significance. So I'm going to try and play a little bit of that on the weekend when I have more time to play and study, I'm also going to pull out SS2 and read all the other sections that I just briefly skimmed over since I've always just been a NLHE player...It's always good to learn new things!

I have a DR. appointment on Thursday, it's been a month since I've been diagnosed w/ carpal tunnel and this is my appointment to see what the next step is. I can honestly say it really doesn't feel any better and still aches quite regularly (yes I've been wearing my brace and doing the exercises)...I don't really know how I'm going to feel if I need surgery, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when/if I come to it...

Well tomorrow is Monday (LAME!!!) and I need to get to bed. Have a good week everyone.

Unplanned Break

Hey everyone.

So I just got back from my work training. Training is always good imo, so it was nice to get out of my comfort zone and do some new things and get new ideas from other people doing the same thing as me...

I will say that I was extremely upset because the hotel I stayed at was supposed to have high-speed Internet, and supposedly the server crashed on Saturday and they hadn't had it fixed (and i was there Monday-Wednesday) so I had to take a break when I have been playing extremely well as of late and it definitely threw my rhythm off...

Then last night my wife and I went out kid less (always a nice switch) and I actually got to play some live poker (for the first time in over a year). Needless to say I was shocked as I had forgot how bad the live players truly were...I was extremely bored and did a few stupid things, but it was so easy to read players it was unreal. I was up $73 for an hour and a half of play (1/2 NL) so dec I guess...

Well when I came back to the Internet today it was like a different world. I was still in that mentality of "ur horrible and have nothing" and it definitely cost me a BI or 2, I was able to keep up with all the action and tables, but it was definitely a different world. So I think I can say, for me, that Internet poker is definitely the right fit for me...if I had 5-6 hours to play live every night then maybe I wouldn't mind, but I really feel that Internet poker is better suited for me...

So now I just need to really start hyper-focusing again and things will fall into place. I was playing very well before my unscheduled break and I don't think it will take long for me to get back to that point.

I realized while I was gone and thinking about everything that I will have enough points to get the TV I want for our front room w/ my FTP points in November, so needless to say I'm definitely looking forward to that...

One good thing that happened while I was in training was I found paradise... If you smoke cigars, and have never been to a cigar bar before (which I never have) then you can not pass up the chance to go to Smokey Joe's in Fife, it was unreal. Seriously the COOLEST place I've ever been in my life. Add on the fact that they have free wi-fi, and needless to say I can see myself going there to grind on weekends (even though it's 2 hours away from where I live). Everyone was so knowledgeable (even the waitresses) about cigars, it was just a really really cool place, and I can't wait to go back ASAP.

Hope all is well everyone. Have a good weekend.

Weekend

Hey everyone,

Anyone else love days off? Only bad thing is that weekends tend to go way quickly when you're married and have a child, meh i guess.

I just realized that I have some vacation time coming and have to use it before the end of the year, so I'm now trying to figure out when I want to use it. I originally was planning on taking a week or two in December, but can't since the boss is having a kid and is taking his vacation around that time...I don't really want to go anywhere, maybe I'll just take some time in September and get somethings done around the house before winter comes...

So it turns out that I actually do have Carpal Tunnel, I'm wearing a brace atm. Looks like I have to wear it for a month, then if that doesn't work out, looks like surgery. I've been doing some exercises that I found online so that's definitely helped. I guess I really don't care how it happens, I just want it to be fixed, if it requires surgery that would definitely not be coll but as long as it will heal properly and be 100% afterwards that's fine with me...

Poker has been pretty dec lately. I'm actually down 4 BI on the month, I'm down 6 BI in EV atm so i guess at least I'm getting it in good...I've definitely noticed that I'm more relaxed at the table and no worried about losing. I was letting the $ affect me which just made me crazy when I lost and made me play a little passively, which is not a good combo at all...

Coaching has been going good. Just signed up my second student, they're planning on taking the intro session at the end of August or start of September so that will be nice to look forward to. My 1st student says that he is making good progress since our session and he really sounds like he's picking things up quickly, so I don't doubt with more lessons and studying we'll have him bumped up levels in no time.

One major thing: If you don't have rakeback and play poker online, you're costing yourself BIG time...tworags.com is now offering rakeback! If you don't have an account at any of these sites but are thinking about it, you NEED rakeback, it's amazing how much it really helps when you're building your bankroll.

I know rakeback has helped me in the months where i break even to show a little profit and then made my good months that much better. The best thing about rakeback is that no matter what stakes you play you get it, so this is crucial for all you up and coming poker players to help build your bankroll, and move up more quickly than you would without it. If you have any questions about rakeback, or anything else for that matter, just email me: mpimpjuicem@comcast.net

Here's the link for the your rakeback, it shows all the sites that are supported, just follow it and get started building your Bankroll TODAY!!!


Well have a great weekend everyone.

August

Hey Everyone,

So August is here and I'm really looking forward to this month. I just had my first session with my first student and I think it went well. The first session always is fun (at least I think...lol) because you get to get into the students head and see where their decision making process is at. That was definitely fun, and I enjoyed it, as I hope they did as well, but since they wanted another session I'm assuming they did.

I think coaching will really help me think more in depth about the game, after the lesson I put my normal grind in and it really went well...I played really solid and made/noticed sum value spots that I've been missing. My bet-sizing was pretty damn sick also, so needless to say I'm excited about coaching...It's really the best of both worlds I get to help others while I'm learning, and thinking about the game more...total win win.

I just put the sickest order for cigars to finally stock up my humidor that the wife got me for Fathers' Day, (ty FTP mid-year bonus...)I spent the majority of the bonus but it was definitely worth it. I got a box of my absolute favorites (Olivia Serie V) to this point, a box of my second favorites (Gurkha Regent) so far, then 15 extra Gurkhas' to try out and see how I like them...needless to say I'm way pumped to get them and fill the humidor.

Tomorrow could potentially be a huge day at work, and I'm really hoping it is. By the sound of it I have a customer that wants to get one of our special programs and if they do I will totally look like a rock star, and make more $ all at the same time. We'll see how the day goes.

Well that's about it everyone. Hope all is well. Have a good week.

Getting Focused/New Goals

Hey everyone.

So July has at least been a little better and things are on the upswing, but it's still been a very slow process...I feel like I'm playing 100 times better than I was in May/June so that's a very big positive for me.

I've been thinking a lot lately about poker and what I would like to get out of it and I realize that for my family to live the life I want for them/they deserve to I need $$$..., and the only really way i know how to earn any extra money atm (second job sounds like a way no good idea) is obviously poker. I've been making good money lately but i want to go for the jugular. I mean significant amounts that will help take the everyday stresses of bills, food, etc etc away from me, and the wife...

So I'm on a mission to become ridic good...I'm planning on studying, reading and of course lots more on the forums...I just see poker as a way to a better life and I really need to concentrate on things and focus on what I'm doing/ trying to do, and things will work out...all I need to do is put in the work and the results will work themselves out...

At a suggestion of SplitSuit (and my wife...) I've decided to start coaching. I'm taking on "protege" candidates and actually already have one lined up by the sound of it...I'm really looking forward to helping people and help them try and realize their goals, and since I taught golf for 4 years I figure I at least have a little bit of a head start in the teaching game than starting completely fresh...

I'm taking on 5nl and 10nl players who are looking to move up threw the ranks, and of course are serious...I feel like I can help build a solid foundation for players that will help players learn the game and move up at there own pace (whether that be accelerated or more methodical). If this interests you can email mpimpjuicem@comcast.net or just send me a pm on 2 plus 2 forum (mpimpjuicem) if interested, or if you just want more info.

I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow that I'm extremely nervous about...my right hand and forearm has been giving me fits lately when i grind or use the computer. I seriously hope it's not carpal tunnel, but given the fact that I dealt cards for 5 years I'm worrying to say the least...hopefully it goes OK, and I'll just have to wear a brace or something...

So it's been crazy hot in WA this last week and I've loved it...reminds me of Palm Springs, CA and the desert. Man I miss that place, it was my paradise for a year or two, my how life changes though, at least I live on a golf course (ish) now...

Other than that not much going on, hope all is well everyone...Have a good rest of week.

Where Has the Time Gone

So my daughter turns 2 tomorrow...it's definitely a trip to think that it's been two years since she's been born. Seems like yesterday we were in the hospital scared as hell, pondering how much life was going to change. I can't believe how amazing she is, every time I see that kid my heart melts. She truly is the most amazing gift I've ever been given...Thank You Boo

Poker wise things are dec I guess. Just grinding as usual...I've noticed some areas of my play that concerns me. I think they are my most common leaks that I always fight. After I get the bonus cleared I'm planning on cutting down the tables to 8-10. I think this will help me focus just that extra bit and take better notes on the players, which I noticed is not one of my strong suits...

So if I can sew these up and really start thinking more 2nd and 3rd level, I'll be at 100 in no time. The goal to get there kind of took a break after May and June being so shitty, but I still have a while to get there and start taking shots @200nl before the end of the year...No need to rush things.

I'm also starting to get my confidence back which is nice...playing this silly game unsure of yourself is really not a good idea. I started a diet and i must say it's allowed me to be more alert and aware at the tables...which sadly is a big reason i decided to lose weight...my kid and to be healthy first but i knew it'd help my poker mind frame also...I don't know how much I've lost so far since i didn't weigh myself when i started but I'd guess it's at least 10 lbs...so that's always nice...

So I've discovered the wonderful world of mods...and needless to say I've been somewhat obsessed the last week (sorry boo). I think I've finally gotten my table exactly where i like it. The table, background, cards, and chips are all done. Now I'm just trying to figure out if i wanna switch up anything else. I really like the blacked out look and might black out some more buttons...but other than a few little tweaks I'm done and i have to say i love my new set-up. It's so much easier on the eyes it's unreal...

Well have a good rest of the week everyone, I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot of you this weekend at the party...later

Update

Hello everyone. Nothing really major going on but i thought I'd give a little update.

Poker has been going pretty dec, I've really started to realize how bad i was playing in my "downswing"...I've just been really hyper-focusing and concentrating on decisions. I've cut out all the extra stuff out, like looking at the web/email, and things are coming together. Just goes to show you how much thinking really is involved with poker...imo

I still don't really know how i feel about the whole stealing blinds thing...I do believe it's important to an extent, but i really don't know if it's all it's cracked up to be...obviously if there's someone on my left that will let me abuse them all day long then I'm going to steal with any 2, but I've realized there are just some people you can't try and steal light from consistently...big shock there, wow i must have not been thinking at all...

Work has been pretty cool. Definitely starting to get the hang of it, and it's starting to be fun. I'm starting to get all of the people in my zone and that makes it easier to talk make them realize I'm not just another salesman...

Well guess that's about it. Have a good week everyone.

Alone

So my wife and kid are gone for the weekend and I'm baching it. i really don't have anything planned except for a golf tourney tomorrow am and poker the rest of the time. i'm planning on grinding pretty hard.

Poker has been a roller coaster ride again....I did it to myself though. I'm technically winning for July, but i needed to make a withdraw for an emergency bill so i left myself right at my min, BI's wise...the next session proceeded to be horrible and i dropped 3 BI in like 100 hands. So i was in shock a little bit just sitting there under rolled for the first time in since i can remember... So I've just been playing pretty conservative and not been doing anything really stupid or making many plays just to get the confidence up and the BR especially...so hopefully i can grind out some profits this weekend, i just need to be patient and realize that it's about the long run.

I've been thinking about strat lately, and I've really started to think about blind stealing...I'm re- reading NLHE T&P, and i read his section that while it's importantish it's not necessary. So I've decided to not steal quite as light as i have been and see where that gets me...thoughts?

Well have a good weekend everyone.

I heart 3 day weekends!

what's up everyone. I'm super excited about a much deserved 3 day weekend. The best part about it is I didn't even know until last Friday that I was getting one...My boss never said anything about it and I just assumed it would be business as usual and it was just bad luck that the 4th fell on a Saturday this month, but I was just informed that we do indeed get it off...hells ya

So I'm planning on getting up earlier than work time and going golfing..WTF, it's funny how much I hate getting out of bed in the morning to go to work, but give me the chance to go golf and I'll wake up even earlier...It's gunna be a nice day so it will definitely be a fun day. Now here's to hoping I don't hack it around and can muster up a dec round, but it will be fun none the less.

Poker has been going a lot better. I finally realized I just wasn't paying any attention to the hands, my decisions, or really anything that was poker related. Which needless to say is way no bueno. So I've really started to just hyper-focus (ty SS) and things are starting to get a little more like normal. Which is just in time since I have to put in about 10k hands more than normal this month to make the mid-year bonus...but it will be well worth it since the BR will be replenished and I can start actually making some withdraws...

Have a fabulous Friday everyone.

WTF!!!

I can't even take it anymore. This is getting unreal. I don't even know what to do anymore. May and June are officially losing months, which I can't stand. I know that in poker you will never win all the time or even close to it, but this is driving me crazy.

This losing streak is causing me serious stress both financially and mentally. I don't even know wtf to do anymore. I'm to the point where I feel like I don't even know how to play poker anymore. I looked over the sessions, and there are a few hands where they just had the top of their range, a few coolers, and a few I just played like a jackass...

I just don't even know where to go from here. I'm clueless. I play poker to make money and atm I'm not doing that, and it is causing me an extremely large amount of unnecessary frustration and stress, which I don't need atm...

The worst part about all this is that my BR has shrunk drastically. I still have 30 BI but, i used to have 40-50, and since July is the month to clear my mid-year bonus which i desperately need to help bump my BR back up, I have to play a shit ton in July...like I said before I'm going to take the next two days off and then start grinding July 1...

I think this is the first real losing streak I've had online. Two months of frustration is not fun. I'm sure some of you will read this and be like "buck up it's only 40K hands" but this is causing my life stress that I don't need or want...man I hate $!!!

later all, have a good Sunday.

Frustrated....again

Sup everyone. Hope your all having a good Saturday so far.

So I'm currently still on a bit of a downswing. My last four sessions I've basically broke even, but it's really been odd. I'm usually pretty consistent and don't do anything too stupid, but lately I either play really good (up 6 BI in two sessions) or really really horrible (down 6 BI in the other two sessions...).

So I'm planning to play tomorrow and then take the rest of the month off, especially since i will be needing to put in serious volume in July to clear my mid-year bonus. So I'm thinking that a break (even if it is only for 2 days) will help me relax a bit and give me some extra study time. I've also planned to tighten up a bit since nothing else has worked to this point. The main thing i need to change though is the fact that if i feel like I'm not into playing i just need to not play at that time. The session where i play poorly is basically me not wanting to play but i do anyways just to get the points for the day in...huge mistake!

I've also been in kind of a funk lately. I don't really know why just feel kind of blah. I'm sure i have an idea what it has to do with but who knows. There seems to be a lot of little things that i get frustrated with and i know that adds up a little each day... Life is a silly thing, and i definitely don't want to turn into a grumpy person the older i get, but it definitely feels like that's the road I'm headed down.

I'm sure the downswing has a little do do with it, but i try and not let poker affect my moods that much, I'm usually pretty good at not showing emotion, especially with the kid around, i wouldn't want her to see her dad in a sad/unhappy mood.

Well have a good weekend everyone.

Happy Fathers Day

Hello everyone at tworags.com. I will be cross posting on tworags from my blog sight http://mpjm.blogspot.com/, so that's where you can find all of my previous blog posts.


Just a little about myself: I'm a Married 30 yeard old with an amazing almost 2 year old daughter. I used to play live exclusively, but when the kid arrived, my days of staying at a casino all hours of the night were up, since poker was a large part of my income I needed to make a change...so i decided to get into online poker. I had played previously online before and had moderate success, but I soon realized that live play does not=online play.


I started out by depositing $200 onto FTP in July 07, and started out at 25nl...(good bankroll management) and haven't looked back since. I've went threw a huge transition and have really become a solid player (well at least I think lol). I currently am a 12-14 tabler of 50nl with the occasional shot at 100nl also. I truly love poker and the added benefit it has of providing my family with extra income is a nice bonus also.

Happy Fathers Day everyone. I hope all the fathers out there have a wonderful day.

I'm not planning much for the day. probably just going to watch the U.S. Open, play a little cards, then smoke a really nice cigar that is in the new humidor my amazing wife got for me for Fathers Day. It's seriously the best humidor ever!

Have a wonderful day everyone.

I Luv Fridays

Seriously is there really such a things as a bad Friday? i doubt it....

Poker has still been a crazy roller coaster lately. I've started to re-read a book i actually forget the name of atm, that deals with attitude and playing poker and swings. there's a section specifically about downswings and dealing with them. So that's helped out immensely to this point.

I did notice i was making some mistakes that only added to the downswing, I was getting frustrated and didn't focus 100% on each hand and decision which ultimately killed me more than just bad beats and coolers.

So needless to say i definitely feel rejuvenated mentally. I'm looking at things a lot clearer and just need to focus 100% on the hand and decision at hands and things really will take care of themselves, I've learned that in a downswing rational thinking kinda goes out the window. When you lose 5 BI in a session it's hard to remember that making correct decisions is all you can really do as a poker player...

This weekend should be pretty fun, well minus the yard work, and normal house hold chores that comes with buying a house...a very good friend of mine moved back from California and we're thinking about golfing this weekend potentially. He played professionally for a while but had to give it up unfortunately when his back went out. I used to be able to keep up with him so we'll see what time has done. neither of us have played any real amount of golf so it could be lol...

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

one step forward, two steps back

so things were going good, and i was back to the normal grind. starting to make money and the BR was finally growing once again. but (of course) i didn't listen to myself, and i played when i shouldn't have, then got cold decked twice, then tilted off 2 more BI. the two tilted BI weren't really horrible had a huge draw in one but the fact that i even saw the flop had to do with tilt, then i just played one so aggressively and was actually shocked to get called by TPTK on a very scary board, but what do you do i guess...

so now the plan is to really start to try and hyper focus again. since trying the new LAG style i've really gotten some new situations that i'm obviously not handling well...so i'm planning on cutting down to 6-8 tables and really look at all my decisions and then do a comparison of sessions and see how much time is affecting my decisions. so that's the experiment for now.

i deff need to relax and just play. i'm not desensitized to money enough. i'm looking at the $ aspect of it and that's what i'm doing wrong atm. i just need to realize things are fine right now and i just need to play and use my chips as the weapon that they are...

well have a good weekend everyone.

update

hey everyone,

nothing really new just thought i'd do a little update.

poker has actually been better. i emailed my mentor (SplitSuit) and asked some questions. he seemed to say all the right things and calmed me down quite a bit. as usual he pointed out what happens every time i get on a downswing...so i just needed to snap out of it and all has been ok since. i'm at least playing better and thinking of ranges again and not "how am i going to lose the pot this time". so that's a nice change of pace...tyvm SS much appreciated as always!

other than that sos i guess, just family, work, poker, and sleep going on atm. the house is shaping up nicely and things are coming together. if we can get some things accomplished this weekend maybe we'll be able to throw a house warming/poker party, which are always fun.

well have a good rest of the week everyone.

doom switch

ok, so whoever has flipped my doom switch, i would GREATLY appreciate it if you would flip it back off...

seriously this is honestly insane. i just can't seem to win, everything is still going wrong, playing good and getting sucked out on, then i play like shit and still lose...it's really starting to become unbelievable. the layoff helped and refreshed me and i'm not really getting upset anymore but this is starting to wear on my mind and Psyche. of course this means i have no confidence which i'm sure makes some passive play creep in, but damn this is insane.

real world wise things are pretty good. my mom came over and completely finished all the putting away at our house... it was like a huge weight was lifted instantly. still have a few of the little things to do and finish up but other than that we're good. so THANK YOU very much mom!!!

if anyone has any suggestions or thoughts on what works for them when you're on a downswing PLEASE let me know, this is honestly driving me crazy.

have a good weekend everyone.

June

so with all the craziness of moving i haven't really updated at all so i figured i would.

moving officially sucks, it's just a really big pain in the ass. we at least have everything in the new place, and the important rooms done (bedroom, kids playroom) so at least that's taken care of, other than that it looks like a bomb went off in here, but we're slowly getting things accomplished night by night so hopefully we'll be officially moved in in a week or two.

poker wise there's nothing really to report at all. i haven't played for about 10 days, i needed the layoff and realized that i'd need to put in large volume in june and especially july because of the mid year bonus. so i decided a break would be the best thing for me. i played for about 30 minuets on saturday night, and it was ok. nothing too major. i'm definitely feeling better and energized about everything so i think the layoff is exactly what i needed.

June really hasn't started off that good though. work has been meh, and my boss decided to give me a pep talk today (and he doesn't know how to motivate btw)and basically put me in a worse mood than i already was, then to top it all of i get a speeding ticket in a school zone for $189, WTF!, that's just ridiculous, damn school zones, but the rest of the day was ok, so hopefully this isn't a sign of things to come...i have a feeling june is going to be a good month. i'm definitely due for some things to go my way.

well have a great week everyone.

worst month ever

so may has been my worst month ever playing poker to date. things were going pretty smoothly and have been for a while now, but with the nature of poker you will inevitable run into some bad moments aka variance. this month truly has been sick, i'm not sure but i think i'm down around 8-10 BI, which has really hurt the BR this month. it's smaller than it's ever been and if and when i do start to play again i feel like it's not enough to play 12-14 tables again...it's a little less than 30 BI which is generally my minimum.

i really don't know where to go from here as i'm super rattled atm about everything that has to do with poker. i know i need to take a break but i truly rely on this money and that's where things are getting complicated...

i've lost all my confidence, which to me, is very important when i play poker. if i feel like things are going well and i'm playing well i can usually weather a storm, but i'm just clueless with this one, it's really been draining. there's not much i can do about it, and will have to take at least a week off while we wait for the cable and internet to get hooked up at our new place. so hopefully that rejuvenates me...

i do know that i need to start and work on a having a positive frame of mind at all times though. i'm deff pessimistic as i've been told a lot recently (especially by my wife), also that i have unreachable expectations which probably goes hand in hand with being negative...so i'm going to really try and realize what i have and how amazing my life is and not look at the few negative aspects..

luckily i won't have a lot of time to play the next week and a half with moving and waiting for the cable to be hooked up...so this will give me a chance to refresh and take a step back...

well have a good week everyone and if any one wants to help out we're moving this weekend and could always use sum extra help...

fun day ahead

what's up everyone. nothing too major but o well...

so basically my weekends from now until july are basically taken up...i never realized how much work goes into a house...today is an all day painting extravaganza and we will probably not be finished today either, the carpets are being cleaned on thursday so we will be moving furniture and whatnot next weekend. (a little hint for those of you that would actually wanna help a brother out...)but it's coming along and it will be so nice when we get all the furniture in and we'll be able to actually move in and live there.

poker wise...meh, pretty lame actually. i've realize lately that i'm letting the $ aspect of it get to my head and that's affecting my play. i'm thinking well i can't afford to lose a stack so i'm going to fold, obviously that isn't good at all. i played a little better on friday night and took last night off so we'll see if i play tonight or if i decide to take another night off...i just need to start being my normal aggressive self and not this passive calling station that is scared to lose his $!

well have a good week everyone. we're off to painting.

happy mothers day

first off let me say to all the mothers out there a very happy Mothers Day!

so we officially got the house, the deal was way too good to pass up. so now we just need to get some financing and everything set up and then it's officially ours, but for now we're renting it (starting June 1) and going to be doing some work to it and getting things in order. I already have my "poker office" all figured out, and it's gunna b sick. basically it's just a den with a tv and a couch and a computer but i'm gunna make it my own little man cave type place...so needless to say we're extremely excited about all of this, and can't say thank you enough to the people making this a reality for us (the home owners)

poker wise things are dec i guess. i've been playing pretty well, but i've been losing the all-in pots lately and that deff hurts the win rate and overall profits, but i'm definitely playing better as a lag and really seeing my game jump up a level. so that's definitely a good thing because now more than ever i need some serious $...

well have a wonderful day everyone, but especially all the mothers out there...

may

what's going on everyone. may has a potential to be a very busy/stressful month. looks like we have found a house (we weren't even really looking lol) and now add one more thing to stress about. but it truly is too good a deal to pass up and the house is pretty unbelievable so it's cool. there's even a place for my "poker office" so needless to say i'm super pumped and stressed all at once...awesome.

poker is meh, been on a decent losing streak, mainly just sick coolers, and suck outs, but some bad decisions because of it. i'm definitely starting to get more comfortable in my new lag style though, and when i'm not getting coolered or sucked out on the win rate is pretty dec, hopefully i can bump up soon and start making some significant money, but we'll see. i've come so far in the last six months i feel good about my game, but with the house and everything potentially i feel a little more stress to perform and really start to bang into it...

other than that not much going on. hope all is well everyone. later