worst month ever

so may has been my worst month ever playing poker to date. things were going pretty smoothly and have been for a while now, but with the nature of poker you will inevitable run into some bad moments aka variance. this month truly has been sick, i'm not sure but i think i'm down around 8-10 BI, which has really hurt the BR this month. it's smaller than it's ever been and if and when i do start to play again i feel like it's not enough to play 12-14 tables again...it's a little less than 30 BI which is generally my minimum.

i really don't know where to go from here as i'm super rattled atm about everything that has to do with poker. i know i need to take a break but i truly rely on this money and that's where things are getting complicated...

i've lost all my confidence, which to me, is very important when i play poker. if i feel like things are going well and i'm playing well i can usually weather a storm, but i'm just clueless with this one, it's really been draining. there's not much i can do about it, and will have to take at least a week off while we wait for the cable and internet to get hooked up at our new place. so hopefully that rejuvenates me...

i do know that i need to start and work on a having a positive frame of mind at all times though. i'm deff pessimistic as i've been told a lot recently (especially by my wife), also that i have unreachable expectations which probably goes hand in hand with being negative...so i'm going to really try and realize what i have and how amazing my life is and not look at the few negative aspects..

luckily i won't have a lot of time to play the next week and a half with moving and waiting for the cable to be hooked up...so this will give me a chance to refresh and take a step back...

well have a good week everyone and if any one wants to help out we're moving this weekend and could always use sum extra help...