What's up everyone. It's been a few so I'd thought I'd do a little update especially since my last post wasn't of the happiest nature.
Life is meh, I guess, just as everything ups and downs. Nothing too severe, just did a lot of reflecting after my uncle passed and have thought a lot about life and what I want etc...Nothing really new I guess.
Poker wise, yesterday was the first time I played in a week, the time off definitely felt good. When ever I take a break because I'm getting pissed at results and just thinking about the money factor, I realize how bad I've been playing. I didn't think poker at all for a week and just kicked it with the wife and kid (which I'm sure they liked) when it was my "poker time".
The only real thing I did was get back to reading a poker psychology "My Worst Poker Enemy", which helped a lot. I read threw the book about 2/3 of the way and then decided to re-read NLTAP. So I got back to reading the psychology book since I was obviously a basket case...Time off always makes me look at the big picture and makes me realize how bad I was playing, and how results oriented I was being.
I realistically need to take at least 2 days off for every 14 days straight I play. I think that's the thresh hold of my grinding capacity. I looked over my sessions and I could identify exactly where my play took a 180...so I think more consistent breaks will help this problem from occurring regularly...
I also started to session review after I play each session, and that's been very helpful so far. It's what made me realize in the first place I was playing horribly. I looked over sessions on back to back nights and was like "o holy shit, I'm playing horrible and need to take a break and relax" it's amazing what happens when you step back and look, rather than just have the thoughts as you're grinding in your head. I usually take a 15 minute break after I'm done playing, grab some water and then session review, and I think it's going to be a extremely valuable in getting out of my 50nl rut...
So, I'm probably going to get struck by lightning for this...The lady that stole from us got caught! lol, stupid bitch. She stole a credit card and racked up the charges and got caught, man I hope she goes to jail, I'm sure she'll get out by claiming she's crazy (probably not far off), but o well, at least everyone realizes now she's a psycho bitch...
Looking forward to tonight, my mom is having her annual Halloween Bash, so the kid should have fun, this is her first year that she'll actually have somewhat of a clue what Halloween is, so that should make it even funner.
Have a Fun and Safe night everyone.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
In a Funk
What's up everyone.
Been a shitty couple of weeks...my uncle passed away (he's in a better place so that helps, but it's never easy to lose anyone...), my Grandpa just had surgery to remove cancer from his face, the wife has a few family members that are sick, just not a very good start to October...
The ceremony for my Uncle is this Saturday, so the whole weekend will be about family and that will be nice. I've noticed as you get older you get busy and generally don't see each other except for holidays or when something bad happens, which is definitely not how it should be. It makes me kind of sad actually, but I guess that's just what happens...
I'm assuming that poker has seen a direct hit because of this...I'm definitely way more irritated with all the running into tops of peoples ranges. Honestly that more than anything is tilting me lately...The suck outs are something you deal with just cuz you know it's going to happen, but when they have a certain range, and you're always running into the top of it in big pots is really getting to me. It's definitely tilts me more than anything. Of course I have a huge amount of pressure on me atm to play well as we desperately need a w/d (lol of course, so much for moving up) and it's tilting me/making me irritable when I don't win.
I think it'll be good to take a few days off. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting mad about losing and that's when I need a break. Usually I let beats and losing roll off me like everything else, but when I start getting actually mad and that "wtf r u kidding me, fuck poker" attitude I know it's time to take some time off..
I guess I'm just pretty irritated in general atm. I had a big life reflection while I was driving home from work today, and it wasn't a good one. I was just thinking about life and work and what "this" all really means, and I honestly didn't have an answer of what's the point...
...but then I came home and saw the wife and kid, and I was temporally relieved. I still don't know though. I'm just getting sick of things, life is too short to not be happy with your job or money or whatever it is. I feel like I need to change something to become happy, problem is I have no idea what it is. It's very possible this is just the temporary downswing talking and adding more fucking $$$ stress, but idk...I seem to have a lot of these types of moments lately.
I know that it's all due to one issue, and it drives me crazy, furious, and sad all at once, and realistically I probably will never be fully happy with my life until it gets resolved...but (here's where it gets really good) it honestly probably never will, and everyone is going to die pissed off and bitter...fucking awesome. Well for now and until that day comes that it gets fixed (which it won't) fuck everything...
Later everyone.
Been a shitty couple of weeks...my uncle passed away (he's in a better place so that helps, but it's never easy to lose anyone...), my Grandpa just had surgery to remove cancer from his face, the wife has a few family members that are sick, just not a very good start to October...
The ceremony for my Uncle is this Saturday, so the whole weekend will be about family and that will be nice. I've noticed as you get older you get busy and generally don't see each other except for holidays or when something bad happens, which is definitely not how it should be. It makes me kind of sad actually, but I guess that's just what happens...
I'm assuming that poker has seen a direct hit because of this...I'm definitely way more irritated with all the running into tops of peoples ranges. Honestly that more than anything is tilting me lately...The suck outs are something you deal with just cuz you know it's going to happen, but when they have a certain range, and you're always running into the top of it in big pots is really getting to me. It's definitely tilts me more than anything. Of course I have a huge amount of pressure on me atm to play well as we desperately need a w/d (lol of course, so much for moving up) and it's tilting me/making me irritable when I don't win.
I think it'll be good to take a few days off. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting mad about losing and that's when I need a break. Usually I let beats and losing roll off me like everything else, but when I start getting actually mad and that "wtf r u kidding me, fuck poker" attitude I know it's time to take some time off..
I guess I'm just pretty irritated in general atm. I had a big life reflection while I was driving home from work today, and it wasn't a good one. I was just thinking about life and work and what "this" all really means, and I honestly didn't have an answer of what's the point...
...but then I came home and saw the wife and kid, and I was temporally relieved. I still don't know though. I'm just getting sick of things, life is too short to not be happy with your job or money or whatever it is. I feel like I need to change something to become happy, problem is I have no idea what it is. It's very possible this is just the temporary downswing talking and adding more fucking $$$ stress, but idk...I seem to have a lot of these types of moments lately.
I know that it's all due to one issue, and it drives me crazy, furious, and sad all at once, and realistically I probably will never be fully happy with my life until it gets resolved...but (here's where it gets really good) it honestly probably never will, and everyone is going to die pissed off and bitter...fucking awesome. Well for now and until that day comes that it gets fixed (which it won't) fuck everything...
Later everyone.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
My Amazing Wife
What up everyone...This is probably tl;dr but o well...
So as the title entails this post is about my wife, I was worthless for 2 weeks (back injury left me on the couch unable to move) and my wife had everything on lock. She cooked, cleaned, took care of our kid, and still had time to go to work and get her hair cutting on...Thanks boo, I know I'm not good at it, and don't say it enough, but thank you very much, you are very appreciated and all your hard work kept the house in working order...
She also was the boss of the house and every time I tried to get up and do something for myself, or help her out (cuz I felt way worthless and like a mooch) she basically said WTF are you doing?! you sit down and do nothing (which without a doubt made me relax and get better much quicker than I would've otherwise), I'll handle it, I will say it was nice for a while being waited on but it got old, not being able to do anything for myself.
The back is meh atm...it's still hurts (mainly from sitting down) and I'm still having to take a pain pill at night after a day of work and sitting in the work truck and @ the computer...I was all excited to go and see this "spine specialist" my Dr. referred me to, and I learn all it is, is some pain clinic that helps you cope/deal with the pain...wtf, how is this going to help anything??? how is just masking the pain going to help me get over this disorder or whatever they diagnosed me with? that one kinda irritated me today, guess we'll just have to wait and see...
Poker is at a somewhat turning point for me...I've decided (I'm pretty sure I've done this before but o well) to refocus my efforts. I read a few articles that really made me sit back and reflect on what I am getting out of poker and what I want from poker...
I've gotten into this pattern/rut of just wanting to get my $500 w/d every 2-3 weeks and have that be fine, but after reading these articles I realize I'm not really getting any better, I'm not pushing myself to play against better players/ or take a shot in a bigger game. I'm just searching for the easy tables, or the biggest fish, rather than really trying to accelerate my game and get to 100nl-200nl by December when the games get way better.
So I'm going to try and not make a w/d (I would really say I'm NOT period, but bills are bills and w/ a kid sometimes you just need extra cash...) I'm going to really start and hyper-focus (good looking out SS) on my decisions, and most of all I really need to start assigning ranges to villains and play accordingly (my biggest leak). I figure w/ a month and a half of good solid playing and really focusing and studying my hands after each sessions/ talking with others about them, that I will be more than ready to make the jump to 100nl w/ shots at 200nl in December.
This is my long term goal (not a really long time frame but long enough I guess) that I'm really going to focus on. Every non-family oriented moment I have is going to be dedicated to poker and studying. I'm also going to read for 15-20 minuets each night before I go to bed (this may be lol funny, cause it's so short, but it has taken me 2 years to read 1/2 way threw 3 books...think about that lol).
So I've got my goal in sight and now I'm going to do the work to achieve it!
Have a good weekend everyone, and I better see you at the party on Saturday!
So as the title entails this post is about my wife, I was worthless for 2 weeks (back injury left me on the couch unable to move) and my wife had everything on lock. She cooked, cleaned, took care of our kid, and still had time to go to work and get her hair cutting on...Thanks boo, I know I'm not good at it, and don't say it enough, but thank you very much, you are very appreciated and all your hard work kept the house in working order...
She also was the boss of the house and every time I tried to get up and do something for myself, or help her out (cuz I felt way worthless and like a mooch) she basically said WTF are you doing?! you sit down and do nothing (which without a doubt made me relax and get better much quicker than I would've otherwise), I'll handle it, I will say it was nice for a while being waited on but it got old, not being able to do anything for myself.
The back is meh atm...it's still hurts (mainly from sitting down) and I'm still having to take a pain pill at night after a day of work and sitting in the work truck and @ the computer...I was all excited to go and see this "spine specialist" my Dr. referred me to, and I learn all it is, is some pain clinic that helps you cope/deal with the pain...wtf, how is this going to help anything??? how is just masking the pain going to help me get over this disorder or whatever they diagnosed me with? that one kinda irritated me today, guess we'll just have to wait and see...
Poker is at a somewhat turning point for me...I've decided (I'm pretty sure I've done this before but o well) to refocus my efforts. I read a few articles that really made me sit back and reflect on what I am getting out of poker and what I want from poker...
I've gotten into this pattern/rut of just wanting to get my $500 w/d every 2-3 weeks and have that be fine, but after reading these articles I realize I'm not really getting any better, I'm not pushing myself to play against better players/ or take a shot in a bigger game. I'm just searching for the easy tables, or the biggest fish, rather than really trying to accelerate my game and get to 100nl-200nl by December when the games get way better.
So I'm going to try and not make a w/d (I would really say I'm NOT period, but bills are bills and w/ a kid sometimes you just need extra cash...) I'm going to really start and hyper-focus (good looking out SS) on my decisions, and most of all I really need to start assigning ranges to villains and play accordingly (my biggest leak). I figure w/ a month and a half of good solid playing and really focusing and studying my hands after each sessions/ talking with others about them, that I will be more than ready to make the jump to 100nl w/ shots at 200nl in December.
This is my long term goal (not a really long time frame but long enough I guess) that I'm really going to focus on. Every non-family oriented moment I have is going to be dedicated to poker and studying. I'm also going to read for 15-20 minuets each night before I go to bed (this may be lol funny, cause it's so short, but it has taken me 2 years to read 1/2 way threw 3 books...think about that lol).
So I've got my goal in sight and now I'm going to do the work to achieve it!
Have a good weekend everyone, and I better see you at the party on Saturday!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Damn, This Sucks
Hey everyone.
So this has been the sickest few days ever...I'm so fucking sick of poker atm it's not even funny...I've lost 12 BI in the last 2 days, I've had 6 coolers and then a little tilt into the mix and I'm back to feeling like I don't even know how to play this fucking game anymore... FUCK THIS IS PISSING ME OFF!!!
Seriously, I've run in so many top of there range it's ridiculous, I don't think I can take one more suck out or me flopping huge and them having the only hand that beats me...fuck I'm so mad right now. I hate these parts of the "long term" when it just feels like I can't do anything right and I feel like I don't even know how to play...
Of course I made a w/d right before this happened so now my BR is way below normal...so wonderful, but standard for me I guess, I can't really ever just run good for a more than 2 weeks at a time, that's way too much to ask...
To top it all off I'm back to the real world tomorrow, I have my MRI at 8:15 am then I'm off to work. My back is still hurting like crazy but there's not much I can do about it...I wasted all my leftover vacation time since I had to stay home for 5 days from work now, so that's cool. Like I said...Standard
Later
So this has been the sickest few days ever...I'm so fucking sick of poker atm it's not even funny...I've lost 12 BI in the last 2 days, I've had 6 coolers and then a little tilt into the mix and I'm back to feeling like I don't even know how to play this fucking game anymore... FUCK THIS IS PISSING ME OFF!!!
Seriously, I've run in so many top of there range it's ridiculous, I don't think I can take one more suck out or me flopping huge and them having the only hand that beats me...fuck I'm so mad right now. I hate these parts of the "long term" when it just feels like I can't do anything right and I feel like I don't even know how to play...
Of course I made a w/d right before this happened so now my BR is way below normal...so wonderful, but standard for me I guess, I can't really ever just run good for a more than 2 weeks at a time, that's way too much to ask...
To top it all off I'm back to the real world tomorrow, I have my MRI at 8:15 am then I'm off to work. My back is still hurting like crazy but there's not much I can do about it...I wasted all my leftover vacation time since I had to stay home for 5 days from work now, so that's cool. Like I said...Standard
Later
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Pain, Branching Out, & Stupid Bitch
What's up everyone.
So my back is completely messed atm...I went to the ER around 1:30 am on Wednesday. They did a UA and it came back nothing. It basically feels just like it did when I had a slipped disc about 2 years ago. It hurts to do anything and I'm just hanging out on the couch doing nothing...which is only cool if you were to have the option of doing something if you wanted to...
I missed work on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and according to my doctor she wants me to be out until next Wednesday. I have a MRI then and should have a somewhat better idea of what is going on and if surgery or anything else is needed...
I can sit for about 1/2 hour at a time so my poker sessions are cut to around 40 minutes before it hurts so bad I can't stand it. I usually time when I just have taken the pain pills they gave me and it makes sitting a little more manageable... but I can't put in a session that's 1 hour + so that's definitely frustrating. I'm just playing 3-4 small sessions to at least get a little volume in...
Poker has been going well though...I think these little sessions have been causing me to focus even more and I've started this month out pretty good. Last month ended on a pretty shitty note so it's always nice to see it going the other way...
I've had a lot more time on my hands to do some reading and thinking about the game so that's nice. I've noticed an area that is a huge leak for me and if I can plug it up I think I will see immediate improvement, which is nice since I've been playing well with my new style and my win rate has been very decent lately.
I've still had to make some w/d from FTP so my BR isn't growing as much as I'd like...not that big of a deal, but I'd really like to start playing 100nl in December when the games get good (usually at least), and in order for me to do that I need to be comfortable with my BR (for me minimum of 30BI...) but I figure if I can just hold off on a few w/d in October and November then all should be well and I'll get there (barring some unseen incidents of course)...
I also am thinking about starting to play 7-game a little more seriously. I usually play it on the weekends when I'm up late and not doing much. I definitely need to start learning other games, and that seems like the perfect fit since your getting just about every other game that's played with some regularity. I'm thinking I'm going to set about $200 aside and have that for a "7-game" BR. I was also toying with the idea of putting $200 on stars and playing mix games over there, but there variation isn't exactly like FTP so I'm guessing I'll just stay there and have a couple hundred extra at all times...I just figure it's time to start thinking more about other games so I can start to play them as well, not to mention the more you learn the better all around poker player I'll become (ldo), which in turn should make my strongest game even stronger.
So it looks as if the whole house keeper stealing our shit was even worse than I anticipated. Turns out she also stole my wife's watch that I bought her (only about $300 but still it was a nice watch), she stole a bottle of perfume (we're finding other things missing all the time, so who knows what else..) and to top things off she stole diapers from my daughter...this is the thing that set me off, if the crazy bitch wants to steal from us whatever, but when she steals from my daughter of something that she needs, that really pisses me off...we ended up filing a police report but nothing will ever come of it since we don't have "evidence". I really hope I never see her because I don't know if I'll be able to control myself if I do... (not hit her or anything of course...just probably make a scene with a lot of name calling and yelling...)
Have a good weekend everyone, and GO BEARS!
So my back is completely messed atm...I went to the ER around 1:30 am on Wednesday. They did a UA and it came back nothing. It basically feels just like it did when I had a slipped disc about 2 years ago. It hurts to do anything and I'm just hanging out on the couch doing nothing...which is only cool if you were to have the option of doing something if you wanted to...
I missed work on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and according to my doctor she wants me to be out until next Wednesday. I have a MRI then and should have a somewhat better idea of what is going on and if surgery or anything else is needed...
I can sit for about 1/2 hour at a time so my poker sessions are cut to around 40 minutes before it hurts so bad I can't stand it. I usually time when I just have taken the pain pills they gave me and it makes sitting a little more manageable... but I can't put in a session that's 1 hour + so that's definitely frustrating. I'm just playing 3-4 small sessions to at least get a little volume in...
Poker has been going well though...I think these little sessions have been causing me to focus even more and I've started this month out pretty good. Last month ended on a pretty shitty note so it's always nice to see it going the other way...
I've had a lot more time on my hands to do some reading and thinking about the game so that's nice. I've noticed an area that is a huge leak for me and if I can plug it up I think I will see immediate improvement, which is nice since I've been playing well with my new style and my win rate has been very decent lately.
I've still had to make some w/d from FTP so my BR isn't growing as much as I'd like...not that big of a deal, but I'd really like to start playing 100nl in December when the games get good (usually at least), and in order for me to do that I need to be comfortable with my BR (for me minimum of 30BI...) but I figure if I can just hold off on a few w/d in October and November then all should be well and I'll get there (barring some unseen incidents of course)...
I also am thinking about starting to play 7-game a little more seriously. I usually play it on the weekends when I'm up late and not doing much. I definitely need to start learning other games, and that seems like the perfect fit since your getting just about every other game that's played with some regularity. I'm thinking I'm going to set about $200 aside and have that for a "7-game" BR. I was also toying with the idea of putting $200 on stars and playing mix games over there, but there variation isn't exactly like FTP so I'm guessing I'll just stay there and have a couple hundred extra at all times...I just figure it's time to start thinking more about other games so I can start to play them as well, not to mention the more you learn the better all around poker player I'll become (ldo), which in turn should make my strongest game even stronger.
So it looks as if the whole house keeper stealing our shit was even worse than I anticipated. Turns out she also stole my wife's watch that I bought her (only about $300 but still it was a nice watch), she stole a bottle of perfume (we're finding other things missing all the time, so who knows what else..) and to top things off she stole diapers from my daughter...this is the thing that set me off, if the crazy bitch wants to steal from us whatever, but when she steals from my daughter of something that she needs, that really pisses me off...we ended up filing a police report but nothing will ever come of it since we don't have "evidence". I really hope I never see her because I don't know if I'll be able to control myself if I do... (not hit her or anything of course...just probably make a scene with a lot of name calling and yelling...)
Have a good weekend everyone, and GO BEARS!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)