good weekend

hey everybody, just a little update:

i'm basically stuck at home lately because of this wonderful weather we're having and the fact that the casino i work at called me and told me not to bother to come because of the roads. which is honestly really awesome and really shitty...awesome because i can just relax hang w/ the wife and kid and play poker for the $ i'm missing by not working, but really shitty because i won't see the $ i've made until at least 10 days, because it has to go threw all the normal w/d bs...

so poker wise i feel like i've made huge strides the last week. i've been absolutely killing 50nl lately. mainly because of the last lesson i had w/ SS and my realization of me giving villains too much credit, and my lack of value betting in spots where i should be. i'm starting to not always give villain the nuts when they're against me and it really has payed huge dividends. on thursday i had my biggest winning day ever at 50nl. i did run slightly well, but really played well also, and that doesn't always happen. since thursday i'm up 15 BI, so needless to say i'm playing well. things really have been a lot clearer, as far as players ranges lately, and i've been value betting in spots i never have and my winrate has just soared.

i took a 100nl shot and that went well also, it's a very small sample and i did run well in it , but i'm still trying to get comfortable with it. i tried again today and just really felt a little nervous again about the money, so i stopped playing 100nl for the day and am probably gunna take it up tomorrow.

i think i made a discovery that i have bankroll/going broke issues. my bankroll for 50nl is definitely enough to where i don't feel scared about going broke and i've noticed lately the fact that i've made sum plays that i know i wouldn't have made 2 months ago. plays that i know will work and are +EV but wouldn't in the past because i didn't want to risk the $. so i think i see this in my shot takes because i'm sitting there looking at 100 on the screen rather than 50 and it nits me up a bit, but i'll get comfortable as the BR grows and the more hands i put in at 100.

life wise i don't really know what's going on anymore. i have issues in my head that won't go away, and some old demons are trying to creep back into my brain, which makes things that much more stressful. sometime i feel like i just can't do anything right, and that i don't make anyone happy. just feels that no matter what i do i'm doomed, and nothing is going to work out like i want it to/it should.

one last note (me whining/BBV) i've been on the good end of set over set 4 times in my online poker career. all the money has went in on the flop and i have only won 1 of them. how is that even possible? THREE times out of four they've hit their quads, the most recent happened yesterday and it got me thinking wtf, how is that possible? and of course i've never hit quads in the handful of times i've been on the bad end of set over set, so ridiculous!