happy thanksgiving

hello everyone. i hope you all have a wonderful day.

so we looked at a house today that was really the first house i've actually like to this point. 3 bedrooms, 2 car garage. 2 bathrooms. really just a nice house. but (of course there's a but) the people that lived there were complete slops. the carpets are trashed, the walls are fucked, they smoked in it so it reeks (although my wife informs me that they have paint to seal out the smell) so i don't know what to think. it's right at the top of our budget also so we wouldn't really have any left over money to do any renovations/fixes, which sucks. worst part is, it's a bank repo and if we want to act on it we have to put an offer in by sunday. so i just don't know what to think.

on the poker side of things, this month has been just silly, i was down 12 BI, now i've had a decent run, and really have been playing good, an now am up a little more than 5 BI...so i'm right back where i started last month at this time. up enough to take my shot at 100nl again if i feel like. but given the time of year i'll probably have to make an extra withdraw for presents and whatnot, so we'll c. so overall it's been a pretty lame month $ wise at least.

well have a wonderful day and remember all that you have to be thankful for. days like this make me realize that even though alot of the time things are shitty or i feel bummed about things/life, there's really no need for it, because i have so much to be thankful for...the most of which my beautiful wife, our amazing daughter, and the fact that i can support the 3 of us. well have happy thanksgiving everyone.

update

what's up all, just wanted to do a little update. this has definitely been a silly month. i don't understand why lately it seems the beginning of the month has started out super shitty and the end of the month usually makes up for it, and i get back into the positive. well this month is the exact same to this point. after being down 12 BI a week ago i now am up 1 and a 1/2 BI. pure crazy...

i'm actually playing pretty well and am starting to work on committing my money more easily (of course when i'm ahead of their logical range/etc.) i've noticed in the video i made my pessimistic attitude generally has me thinking "well i must be beat, they're raising me and i'm just beat" which is honestly a leak. i'm also trying to think in 3rd level, which i've never really done (1st level is what my hand is, 2nd level is what does villain likely have, 3rd level is what does villain think i have) and that's help me snap off a few bluffs and fold good hands when i was up against monsters...so over all i'm feeling pretty confident again about my game.

well here's the link for my video http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZIZJAE06. it's me 6 tabling 50nl for about 50 minutes. it didn't get much love on 2+2 so meh i guess, but at least the people that commented thought it was good. i guess it's possible that it wasn't that good of a video. i didn't really talk much about strategy and just talked about the hands that were being played. so the next video i do i'll talk more about my strategy and and other things if i can remember. well have a good weekend everyone.

realization

well, i was laying in bed last night and i had my first "o shit wtf am i doing w/ my life moment" which in itself is funny since i'm almost 30, (but a new family tends to put new stresses on you that you've never felt before) i really just haven't been happy lately (read last months' post) and the majority of it is my current issues. but last night i realized i'm just not really happy w/ work either. as everyone knows the econemy sucks and no one is really gambling...ldo, which basically makes me take a pay cut while doing exactly the same job (WAY no good)

so last night i was thinking about things and what i'd want to do and what i enjoy, and guess what i came up with...big suprize to all that know me i bet...poker. my days off i truely enjoy my life... i wake up around 1pmish (go ez on me i work nights) kiss the wife, kiss the kid, load up all the poker software/programs, hangout and talk to the wife and play with the kid while everything is getting in order w/ waitlists and whatnot, and then play for my 1-2 hours. the rest of the day generlly is me w/ the wife and kid, playing, shopping or whatever the day entails...i know work isn't supposed to be all that fun, but why can't i enjoy my job/make good money?

i remember saying a long time ago that my 30th birthday present to myself was going to be to become a professional poker player...idk

alot of this is really just talk, i have a family to support and this is just me fantasizing, and also the fact that there are things that really aren't in my control (i.e...a new "life" bankroll, medical insurance, not to mention the current state of online poker etc,etc) so as always it's about $ (fuck i'm starting to hate $, and the almighty paper chase)

on the other hand i feel more comfortable in my game than i ever have and am playing the best i ever have. i truely am starting to "understand" the game, it's theory, and all that goes into it. i'm almost at the 100nl level (which i imagine would be the absolute min u could play for a living online) sure i have some tilt issues (who doesn't though really) that i'd need to sew up a little tighter and obviously the more volume and studying i put in the better, but i think i could really do this for one simple reason....i believe i can, and i've never failed at something that i've truely tried at (yes i know professional poker is a completely different thing than "normal")

but realistically this is just me fantasizing about my life and what i'd like it to be/do. i've got a wife and kid and am (well supposed to be at least) a grown ass man, and certian things in life just aren't realistic sometimes...but i'm truely starting to reopen this dream/ambition...

and i did the video as i said last post but i have no idea how to compress it. i've tried everything and just can't get it to work. so i think i might make another vid this week then post 'em whenever i figure out how to compress them...have a good couple days everyone.

half way threw November

what's up everyone. so this month still is pretty lame poker wise. i was as far down as 12 BI for the month but at the moment am down a little less than 6 BI. still not a fun month but WAY better than 12 BI imo...

i had a good lesson w/ SS (i honestly didn't think it at the time) and implemented something in my game that i've already seen the dividends of it. it was an area that i never have even thought about before and just in the 3 days since the lesson i've taken way more "orphan pots" down that has padded my stack/winrate (well lack there of this month) that much more. that man truely is a poker gangsta and if anyone is reading this and is thinking about lessons i STRONGLY advice taking them from him. he truely has taken me from a dec player/moderate winner online to someone who understands his game, knows generally what people are doing and has doubled my winrate, and if it weren't for this month honestly probably tripled it...so thank you SplitSuit much appreciated.

i've finished my video and plan on posting it on 2+2, although i have a sinus infection and took some nyquil right before playing, so i don't have the clearest of heads. also i'm sucking a cough drop which makes me have a deep voice, i can't even tell it's me honestly. so i might make another one just to see if it's better but probably will post it anyways.

i actually figured out something in my personal life (evidently my wife told me this long ago and i didn't listen/pay attention: sorry boo) that has obviously been making me crazy inside (and my wife ldo) i've been way more moody and actually angry (which i never usually am, i'm so laid back it's actually kinda silly) so that has deffinately been affecting me and those around me which is never a good thing so i'm on a mission to get it handled. (WAY easier said than done)

well have a good weekend everyone.

November=VARIANCE

ya title really sums it up here...this month is super shitty. i'm down almost 9 BI already, and am really super frustrated. i'm getting super unlucky, that's tilting me a bit and then i get unlucky again. it's driving me crazy. i'm way pissed right now. fuck variance and everything that has to do with it. aww that feels a little better that i've vented now.

hopefully this turns around very soon, but who really knows. i've looked back and reviewed my sessions and it's really just getting unlucky. sure i've played some hands poorly, but not 9 BI worth. well i'm done with the poor me attitude (at least until tomorrow) hopefully this gets straightened out soon and all will be back to normal.

on a somewhat positive note. i'm going to do something for the first time on 2+2, i'm going to make a video and post it (hopefully this weekend), hopefully to get some feedback and also because i think i can help people understand some things and i've never done anything like this before so i thought it would be fun.

novemeber no bueno

what's up everyone. so the start to november really hasn't been very good. although i remember not too long ago (october ldo) that a month started off super shitty and really ended up being a good month. so hopefully this will be like last month.

i just finished up with my first ever "sweat session" from 2+2 and it was really fun. i'm sure my partner thinks i'm a complete jackass, lol. i was also way chatty tonight for some reason (probably because i really don't have many people to talk poker with so when i do i actually have alot to say) i ran soooooo shitty during this session, i got inot a few spots where i misplayed a few hands and a few where the range i assigned for villian was completely off...meh it happens. we talked about opening up his game (he had very nitty stats 10/8) i understand his logic for playing nitty but i just made him realize (well tried to newayz) that if he truely wants to move up, and improve, he's going to have to open up his ranges and stats...especially if he ever wants to be payed off on anything.

well have a good few days everyone hopefully this month turns around soon...

november goals/update

well, as well as october finsihed, november has started out just as shitty. my shot take at 100 took a complete 180, and am now down a bit after the last two days.

i've noticed i'm deffinately playing a little differntly while at 100, so i've decided just to stick with 50 for the rest of the month, with the occasional shot take at 100 if i stop playing so damn passively in certian situations. it just kinda sucks because as much confidence as i had 4 days ago it has all but dissapeared.

i generally don't make goals, but i figured i'd give it a try this month. i'm having issues w/ ranging as when i get in a hand i tend to get what i call "blinders" which is i only think 1 dimensionally and only see my hand value and not the opponents range/what they think i'm thinking etc...so my first goal is to really start to think. and i mean "hyper-focusing" (term borrowed form SS) about every decision.

i don't really make hand goals just because i generally play 2 hours a day 25-28 days a month and if i tried to bump that up the wife would probably not be happy. so i'll just stay with that and am going to try and bump up to 12 tables from 10...so that will add a little more volume.

the most important goal is deffinately out of my control, and if i do the first two goals well it will take care of itself. but i want to be comfortably rolled for 100 (for me that's at least 30 BI) but i feel if i but in volume with 12 tables and really focus and plan/think out my hands. things will fall into place. so in recap:

1.) hyper-focus on every decision/opponents ranges.
2.) add two tables and get up to 12
3.) bang into it (a term at the casino i work at which means make good $)