worst month ever

so may has been my worst month ever playing poker to date. things were going pretty smoothly and have been for a while now, but with the nature of poker you will inevitable run into some bad moments aka variance. this month truly has been sick, i'm not sure but i think i'm down around 8-10 BI, which has really hurt the BR this month. it's smaller than it's ever been and if and when i do start to play again i feel like it's not enough to play 12-14 tables again...it's a little less than 30 BI which is generally my minimum.

i really don't know where to go from here as i'm super rattled atm about everything that has to do with poker. i know i need to take a break but i truly rely on this money and that's where things are getting complicated...

i've lost all my confidence, which to me, is very important when i play poker. if i feel like things are going well and i'm playing well i can usually weather a storm, but i'm just clueless with this one, it's really been draining. there's not much i can do about it, and will have to take at least a week off while we wait for the cable and internet to get hooked up at our new place. so hopefully that rejuvenates me...

i do know that i need to start and work on a having a positive frame of mind at all times though. i'm deff pessimistic as i've been told a lot recently (especially by my wife), also that i have unreachable expectations which probably goes hand in hand with being negative...so i'm going to really try and realize what i have and how amazing my life is and not look at the few negative aspects..

luckily i won't have a lot of time to play the next week and a half with moving and waiting for the cable to be hooked up...so this will give me a chance to refresh and take a step back...

well have a good week everyone and if any one wants to help out we're moving this weekend and could always use sum extra help...

fun day ahead

what's up everyone. nothing too major but o well...

so basically my weekends from now until july are basically taken up...i never realized how much work goes into a house...today is an all day painting extravaganza and we will probably not be finished today either, the carpets are being cleaned on thursday so we will be moving furniture and whatnot next weekend. (a little hint for those of you that would actually wanna help a brother out...)but it's coming along and it will be so nice when we get all the furniture in and we'll be able to actually move in and live there.

poker wise...meh, pretty lame actually. i've realize lately that i'm letting the $ aspect of it get to my head and that's affecting my play. i'm thinking well i can't afford to lose a stack so i'm going to fold, obviously that isn't good at all. i played a little better on friday night and took last night off so we'll see if i play tonight or if i decide to take another night off...i just need to start being my normal aggressive self and not this passive calling station that is scared to lose his $!

well have a good week everyone. we're off to painting.

happy mothers day

first off let me say to all the mothers out there a very happy Mothers Day!

so we officially got the house, the deal was way too good to pass up. so now we just need to get some financing and everything set up and then it's officially ours, but for now we're renting it (starting June 1) and going to be doing some work to it and getting things in order. I already have my "poker office" all figured out, and it's gunna b sick. basically it's just a den with a tv and a couch and a computer but i'm gunna make it my own little man cave type place...so needless to say we're extremely excited about all of this, and can't say thank you enough to the people making this a reality for us (the home owners)

poker wise things are dec i guess. i've been playing pretty well, but i've been losing the all-in pots lately and that deff hurts the win rate and overall profits, but i'm definitely playing better as a lag and really seeing my game jump up a level. so that's definitely a good thing because now more than ever i need some serious $...

well have a wonderful day everyone, but especially all the mothers out there...

may

what's going on everyone. may has a potential to be a very busy/stressful month. looks like we have found a house (we weren't even really looking lol) and now add one more thing to stress about. but it truly is too good a deal to pass up and the house is pretty unbelievable so it's cool. there's even a place for my "poker office" so needless to say i'm super pumped and stressed all at once...awesome.

poker is meh, been on a decent losing streak, mainly just sick coolers, and suck outs, but some bad decisions because of it. i'm definitely starting to get more comfortable in my new lag style though, and when i'm not getting coolered or sucked out on the win rate is pretty dec, hopefully i can bump up soon and start making some significant money, but we'll see. i've come so far in the last six months i feel good about my game, but with the house and everything potentially i feel a little more stress to perform and really start to bang into it...

other than that not much going on. hope all is well everyone. later