Well Hello There

Been a very long time...

Now that my life has calmed down and I no longer fall into the rollercoaster ride, or let it affect me the way I did, I'm starting to get back to the life that I remember.  I used to love my life, used to love the people I surrounded myself with, loved seeing what the new day would bring.  I got away from that and let myself fall into a very deep whole.  I was depressed for a very long time...but NO MORE!!!

Trying to do things for Lydia and be the healthy happy role model she needs to see really has me wake up everyday and do the best possible thing I can.  I truely can't phathom where I'd be without her...I love you kid. 

Started to get back into the things I loved doing and was good at...yes, poker!  Online poker is still non-existant in Washington State (so unbelievably lame) so I've started to dive back into the live play.  I'm definitely still a bit rusty as I've only played about 4 times to date, but it's good to see the game is still very profitable.  I'm no way near having a bankroll yet, but hopefully a few months of hard work and I won't have to worry about the $ aspect of playing anymore.

The last two years has been a rollercoaster ride that I am very happy to be off.  I am getting back to the person I remember being, just with an amazing daughter by my side.  It's a little unreal how much she teaches me.  I love you Lydia, everything I do is for you!

Thinking I will be updating more often and getting back to this blog.  It's pretty surreal to look at some of my old posts, I believe it's good to remember, and to not make the same mistakes twice.

Much Love and Happiness everyone.

2012

Damn,

Doesn't feel like it's been so long since I've updated. Things really haven't gotten much better but at least things are starting to settle down a bit. Things have taken a drastic turn for me and I feel like this is where I get and put my life back together. I'm condemplating keeping this blog up and running but don't really feel the need to since I don't play poker anymore (can't online) and my Family has gotten drastically smaller.

I'm thinking I'll do one last post and then maybe switch up the entire focus of the blog. We'll see where 2012 takes Lydia and I. To all the people that love me and read this blog (any???) I love you all and hope 2012 is as great a year for you as it will be for me.

Strange

Weird Day...

I'm sure I ruffled a few feathers with the last post, but there's a reason I didn't delete it...I don't give a fuck. I know there's a lot of people looking from the outside in and thinking a lot of things I'm sure...once again, see above...

Today was just weird. Not really much else to say about it. Hope everyone has a really really good day tomorrow

Be ez everyone.

FML

For real...

I'm fucking over this...I've made a life decision that obviously everyone thinks is wrong...well I made it with my daughter and mainly myself when I made it. I can't do it. It is not a healthy situation for me to be in.

What I don't understand is the lack of support. For fucks sake. I'm talking to a select few...if you don't have encouraging words (not just be a man and buck up) SHUT THE FUCK UP! if you don't want to be in my life, be fucking gone!

My daughter is my main focal point...This is all for her, I'm not going to be an unhappy parent for the rest of my life. some things just don't/will never change. This is my life, I'm taking control of it.

Sorry this had to be a blog post, but I'm fucking sick of people not listening. If you would like to be in my life then be positive. No negative energy! All you haterz be FUCKING GONE!!!

I'm out

wtf

Sorry for the last one...For some reason won't let me edit or have paragraphs? maybe it was meant to be...lol, sorry for the random thought read if anyone reads it...

Update

Well...this blog really isn't about poker anymore as it's not possible to play in Washington State (fucking GHEY!!!) so whatever...thought I'd update maybe one last time, although it's always good to rant somewhere... Things are pretty chill I guess, the kid is ldo the main focus of everything and she's definitely starting to become a little spoiled (my kid? no way!) One thing parenting is teaching me is patience, I'm a whole lot better than I was three + years ago...definitely room for improvement but still much better and more relaxed :) Trying to start and get things more in order in my life. Just have a more set schedule. Wake up at certain time everyday type shit...things I don't usually do because I have a casino employee work schedule (lack of a schedule...) basically just becoming a little more like a grown up. I'm fighting it, but it looks inevitable, lol. Still PT at work and it sucks. Hopefully FT comes way quick, but I never know. thinking about maybe moving to nights and getting a random day job... I've really been into music lately. I always have been into it, but I'd rather just surf the net and read and listen to music then watch tv...just seems like there's nothing really worth watching and I can catch up on sports in an hour on SC...Damn I'm sounding like a grown up again. Not much otherwise really. I don't even know if anyone looks @ this anymore...Might be my last post, if it is...Be easy everyone.

Fall

Hey all,

I'm a little pissed atm. I was just starting to get back into playing poker online and grinding. Then I get this damn email from start saying sorry WA state is fucking gay and you can no longer play online poker in WA...WTF, that is just rediculous, how can someone decide for me what I should or shouldn't be doing. I was under the impression that this is a "free" country, but as I've grown older I've realized the goverment is just a bunch of idiots trying to play bully and tell us what to do...ok, rant over.

The kid is doing amazing, in preschool going strong. She comes home everyday with some new knowledge and both the wife and I are like "wait a minute, where did you learn that", the kid is a sponge!

Looking forward to all the holidays spending time with family. It's always nice to see things as a grown-up (poor attempt, lol) and see all smiles and joy on the kids faces, makes you almost forget your old...meh fair trade imho.

Well kind of sad since by the look of it the "poker" portion of this blog died...I haven't tried FTP so I've yet to see if it is still possible over there...

Have a great Halloween everyone.